I feel like my life has suddenly fallen apart these past few weeks it’s been a roller coaster.
I have made the decision to not DROP OUT of college but to change my major. X-ray wasn’t in my heart and I didn’t like the field nor did I see myself as being a good Xray tech so I made the decision to remove myself from the program.
I had a lot of people disappointed, upset, but no one ever asked me how I felt. Was I happy? Is this what I wanted? No one ever asked me that. I was just supposed to do it and be happy. Everyone expected so much out of me. Despite having a CHRONIC ILLNESS i was just supposed to deal. I did it for three long years with two surgeries throughout. My health was deteriorating and no one around me knew about it, I was self-medicating with painkillers just to get through a day it was unhealthy on ALL levels, but again I told no one I never wanted to be a disappointment!
Needless to say, my parents and grandparents were disappointed. They have chilled out about it now but still, I can feel the tension.
But the day I decided I had enough, and decided to change my major I asked myself those questions- Am I happy? Is this what I really want? Will I be happy with this the rest of my life?
When I answered NO to those questions I knew I had to do something. This is MY life. I have to be happy at the end of it all. SO all those people who may be a little disappointed now are better than be being disappointed for the rest of my life.
I am also not a normal college student, I have a disease, although people hate seeing it that way it is a disease! So, I not only had to think about my happiness but also my health. Surviving with Endometriosis will never be easy, heck life itself isn’t easy but just remember YOU have to be happy at the end of it all… nobody else. Don’t let anyone lead you in a direction of doing something you don’t absolutely love doing. That matters most to me, being happy with my life, career, everything.
SO, I’m still surviving just in a different way. Changing things up FOR THE BETTER!
I love you all, and I have a lot more time on my hands so hopefully more post soon- STAY TUNED.XX